Feedback comments
Thank you for your assignment submission which I have enjoyed reading. Overall this was a good attempt at the induction assignment, which has earned you a pass mark. Please see below some general feedback which I hope you find useful.
Quality of written expression & presentation (Pass)
Your writing has been generally well presented with a good introduction into your field of study related to your professional background. A point to note is that for the essay writing format you do not generally need to use headings. You have demonstrated a good level of English with only a few minor mistakes. Always spell check and proofread your work before submitting it for marking. The ideas presented in the main body of your essay have been suitably discussed with some evidence of critical analysis. This then leads to a conclusion where you highlight your expectations for the course and provide your final thoughts on this topic. Moving forward please note that you should usually use the third person in academic writing and not use the first person (unless it is a reflective assignment or requires your personal experience). So by this I mean you need to avoid using "I", "we" and "me" etc.
Follows instructions (Pass):
• Addresses the set question
• Shows good understanding
• Meets the word count
Overall you have clearly addressed the various points from the assignment question demonstrating a good level of understanding of the specific requirements of this task. You have also met the word count of 750 (+10%). Your essay was 800 words and the maximum allowed word count was 825. As you begin your studies it is important to continue to always aim to use the full number of words allowed in an assessment as this provides you the scope to demonstrate more of your critical analysis and deeper understanding of the topic.
Academic integrity & wider reading (Pass)
You have clearly utilised a range of further research to support your analysis of this topic. There is suitable evidence of your understanding of the requirements of an academic writing style.
In-text citations have been incorporated into the body of your writing, but you need to ensure that page numbers are included where you use quotations. Also, the full stop should appear after the in-text citation at the end of a sentence. You have included a references list where you have attempted to use the Harvard referencing format, although there were a few errors, for example the year should be in brackets. Please review the UoE Harvard referencing guidelines.
The Turnitin report indicated a match of 20% (excluding the matches contained within your list of references at the end). As indicated in the academic resources (see the Harvard Referencing Guide provided in Moodle), we advise students to limit the amount of correctly attributed text to 10% - 15% of the main body of their report. Therefore, as you continue with your studies aim to keep within this range.
As you start your subject modules I would advise you to continue to utilise the UoE library resources and/or Google Scholar to search for academically credible sources (journals, peer-reviewed texts and academic textbooks) that you can refer to as supporting evidence in your future assessments. It is always advisable to avoid unreliable, non peer-reviewed sources, such as internet blogs, Wikipedia, essay repository sites and so on as these are really not appropriate to use in academic writing at this level.
I would like to congratulate you on passing the induction module and hope that you have found it both informative and beneficial. I wish you the best of luck as you start your studies with UoE.
Regards, Beran